It's Official.

Today I had to officially resign from the tennis team. This included me explaining how I have no time for tennis to every person on the tennis team. We all stood in a circle and all eyes were on me while I spoke... talk about strict. After I did that, I don't think I had a time when I felt more empty. Almost as if I was left behind... I just got so sad. It's strange how the longer you stay in Japan, the more foreign you feel. I was walking down the street and even though there were people all around me, I felt like I was put in a bubble. A "gaijin" bubble. It is the same feeling you get when you are treated as a guest in someone's house... and no matter how close you become to your Japanese friends, you are still the outsider.

Even though I have been here for a month already I feel that my Japanese has not improved. Some days it almost feels like I'm back to square one and don't understand a thing.. and on other days I can understand all the conversations. It's so strange. Language is such a large barrier... and Japanese is definitely difficult. The more vague you are in a conversation, the more polite you are. I can feel myself leaning towards more foreigners and I have to force myself to stop every time. I guess it doesn't help the fact that I quit tennis... all the girls there were so nice. They all said we should still be friends, but knowing their grueling schedule, I am afraid that meeting up may be difficult.

At least without tennis I am free to choose what I want to do now. Speaking of which, I may be heading to Kyoto this weekend :) If I buy my ticket tomorrow everything should work out ^__^ and not to leave on a sad note.... tomorrow I am making veggie pizza for my host family!!! I am so excited!!! ... and so is my host mom. She was like "I don't have to cook tomorrow??!! (happy face)" I'll make sure to take a photo :)