A bit of emo...

As I try to write my six page essay I realized I have no clue where to start... or what to write. We are given no direction, and no grading guidelines. Basically we are asked to BS 6 pages. Why? Who knows... to evaluate just how little of Japanese women's history we know? or could it be just how well we can pretend to know nothing? According to the teacher... it is probably the first, but I definitely think everyone is practicing their art of BS.

Then I start to wonder about the future. This gets dangerous. My friends are graduating, and I'm thinking that I have no clue what I want to do with the rest of my life. Sure it's easy to say that nobody really knows what they want to do, but they still have some sort of backup path. For example all those foreign affairs students, they have connections to pull them through. But what happens to those that wanted to become doctors? Once that fails... I know there is no way I could be researching. I don't see myself sitting in a chair all day and getting exciting over the tiniest change in cell structure/ function. What's worse is that I love biology. The longer I am in Japan, and the more foreign affairs, and history I am learning, the stronger my need becomes to pick up a science text book and just casually flipping through it. I know I'm crazy.... at least I kno

I feel as if the world is a treadmill, and I just happened to get my shoe lace stuck and fall flat on my ass. What's worse is that the treadmill just keeps going... I'm just currently not on it. It's too late to start all over, and I can never redo the past... nor would I really want to...

My life is honestly like this paper. There are no guidelines, and there are no rules. It's a blank piece of paper (or computer screen) that I am staring at. I have no clue where to start, and no clue what to write about. Despite this, it will get done by tomorrow morning... just a little half assed. That too, is very much like my life.